It is downright annoying as when you think you've closed a door in your life you appear temptations. When you think of when a wound is healed instead of being something that is something that a scratch patch and the wound was reopened and it is often harder to cure.
More specifically, when you think you got over the separation from loved ones, he suddenly reappears in your life and you say maybe this time will be different, perhaps you from me ... and we can can can say that only half-opendoor ... I learned from last lesson, but we realize that give feelings burst upon us again.
When you say: no, this place I no longer work offers nothing, nothing will ever change, I am leaving. Hmm .. then there is the temptation, it's better pay, he would change something about your work, etc.. The proposed changes are typically changes at a superficial level. Even if you ask them, they often do not make you decide whether to stay or not to the place of work.
How to deal with temptations?
When it comes to love, is a execitiu we take in the workshop Call love into your life.
So imagine your heart, a big heart, beautiful, ready to receive love in your life. But the heart needs cleaning. Take a Waste shovel and clean everything is still there that can prevent a new chance to give love.
At heart there is a door behind the door ... "dos" throw garbage on there ..imagine how you put the garbage out. Then home ... regain the front door, a beautiful door, welcoming. You can imagine how the back door there fell away ... temptation. All you need is not more beautiful things. And love's open front door is open ... the person that will make life beautiful. How do you arrange your heart with confidence, with joy, the beautiful feelings when you're ready (to) love will ring at your door.
When it comes to workplace imagine that you wake up knowing that going to work with pleasure. It's a job where you feel very good that you do what you love. You can imagine the past those days where you feel frustration, anger, etc ... and you realize how important it is to have a job where you can feel smug. You wake up smiling, happy, enthusiastic, smiling, eager to start a new day of work.
Living in the moment of visualization will make you clarify and to banish the temptations, first of all recognize that there are temptations and stop letting "Bewitched."
These exercises will be done every time you want to intredeschizi door and let you prey temptations. Success!
Monday, November 29, 2010
Temptations
The 7 magic words
In continuation of the article last time, I thought it reviews some principles of communication that increase the chances of all participants to get a non-crease uncomfortable conversation.
Obviously, situations and people involved are so diverse that no one can claim to hold a guaranteed recipe for success, but maybe you will want to consider these suggestions:
Prepare yourself mentally for discussion. Summarized the topics you want to touch them and the results that you want to achieve. "Practice" in the conversation going, trying to anticipate possible points difficult. (Re-read the article about the intelligence of passage where I wrote more detail about the preparation of such conversations.)
Aim for a satisfactory result for both sides. A situation "win-win" is no "I win-win, you lose-lose." So make sure your motives are not selfish and to remember and what you have to offer each other. If you think the good of the person next to you, she would be compelled to do so?
Speak up and act relaxed. Someone said (and I can not contradict) that emotions are contagious. Do not let fear, anger, frustration or other negative emotions will lead the discussion. Remember that the energy that vibrate to attract a similar level (in translation, I'll forward your state party). Nobody likes to talk to a person desperate and cheeks with mascara elapsed ...
Choose your moment carefully. Ladies, written in any glossy magazine will not tell the man next to you "Honey, we need to talk!" Just when he's hungry or watching World Cup final. This advice may be generalized. With a little finesse and attention, you can detect the moment when the person you talk is in a receptive mood. Can be grouchy in the morning and afternoon working more intensely and hates to be interrupted. Talk to her at lunch!
Maintain constructive intent. There is a rule known enough feedback called "sandwich technique": a critique of two said in praise. It is very important to understand the other person you want to improve a specific aspect, you're not satisfied with (a) the whole relationship. Learn to tell the difference between "You're a fool" and "I believe that you behaved stupidly when ..." (ie not criticize the person, but the behavior).
No trial issue. Another so-called "trick" of effective communication is to report the behavior that you dislike a neutral way without making them add an emotional interpretation. See "This Month's delayed four times and I want to talk about it" vs. "late and always make me feel like a jerk because I realize that does not respect me." Many times the person in question did not realize that you are unhappy and it is possible that a calm discussion to solve the problem instantly.
No emotional blackmail. Not unless you give ultimaturi decided (a) you know them and if you're not prepared (a) to suffer the consequences. On the one hand, nobody likes to be his hand forced, and more, you could ruin everything accelerating someone to give you an answer to that is not ready.On the other hand, if it issues an ultimatum and then you disrespect, you will definitely lose credibility and you will forward party that has full power over you.
Use the 7 magic words. When you are ready to make someone a reproach them, begin your speech (verbal or mental) with the 7 magic words: "Since our relationship is important for me." This will help you remember the ultimate goal (to improve the situation) and you will temper the warring impulses.
In fact, as you can see, there is no "trick", "magic phrase" or "technique" to learn by heart. What matters is how you manage your inner state, respect for yourself and towards others and sincere intention to make things work. Find simple but very hard ...
Success in life
Today I woke up this morning thinking that I will write an article entitled "How life deserves to be lived?". I thought to do that because one of those who responded to the challenge launched last week in the article "Why should life be lived?" I suggested the theme mentioned above.
But when I opened my laptop to write, I felt more attracted to this "success in life."
First I chose this topic because here I can write much of the lessons we had learned during my life so far. And, secondly, lately all I see people who are successful in life hiding from the world and those who do not speak to us as they would have.
Yes it is true that if you're a man of a certain quality and have been taught to be modest and common sense, it's hard to think that you are successful. It's hard sometimes to accept that even when I come to you to tell others that.And maybe it's hard and you think, rightly, not successful yet, knowing what you have not yet.
Yes, it's true, success can be the end of the road. It may be when we have it all: special friend, a beautiful family, a professional situation is a reflection of passion, a good financial situation, free time for themselves, loved ones and passions ... and maybe more.
Equally true, though, and the fact that the road can be a success. And that really matter and that as you go by what you want. Matter what values guide you in daily life and that others see you and inspires. Does it matter what attitudes and behaviors that provide examples that others choose as models.
Yes, each of these issues does not mean you have already reached the success that you propose it, but yes, your way is, however, that in itself is seen as a success by others. And if they see him like that, maybe we should give you and you a chance to see it.
It's good to know that you have not yet arrived where you want to go
But as good and perhaps even more heartening is to know you as you propose to be, even if you got there. Know that you are proof that your fulfillment and daily behavior does not depend exclusively on that success, but you, diligently, constantly working to get there. And the fact that doing so in an exemplary manner and should be a success for you to enjoy inside to leave you motivated by success.
So, whether you have arrived where you've wanted to get it or not, how about you give it a chance and successes along the way? First, for you, for surely you will be better if you also see the glass half full and not just empty. And, secondly, for those around you who will surely appreciate to hear about your little successes along the way, even with the modesty and simplicity that can give you proof.
Yes, it's a shame to have a set of values and to respect. It's a shame to be ethically, morally, with common sense, respectful and responsible to yourself and others, to do your job better, to live your dreams or inspire others to live their lives better. None of these things is a disgrace. On the contrary ...
Return to life
The story goes that a man wanted to find the magical stone meets every need. Having no idea where to look, he went to a wise man to ask for advice. He said: "Magical Stone is on the seashore. Walk on the beach and take in hand every stone, if it is cold, throw it into the sea because it is just a normal stone, if it is hot, it means that you have found the Magic Stone. "
Hopefully, our man went to the seashore. The first stone he picked it was cold. Disappointed, he threw it into the water. And the second was stone cold - and threw it into the sea. He spent it all day, then another day and another day ... week in a row in which he found only the cold stones which he threw into the sea.
Then one day he put his hand on a hot stone. Magical Stone was right!Unfortunately, he felt that only a fraction of a second before throwing it into the sea. After many days, lost the habit of man and realize every gesture, throwing stones and I entered the reflex.
How many "magic rocks" waste daily because we live our lives on autopilot, always thinking the other hand, not stopping us any moment to realize what we are doing right now?
Trance
Most times, the second when we wake in the morning, went into a kind of trance. Once we start running the same thoughts in mind that we had yesterday, and the other day, and we launch hypnotized in the daily program.Go missing on the street and get along well known that not welcome.
Do not see that smells of lime or on the sidewalk is a lie. Arrived at the office, we agonized all day asking "Did I shut the door? I removed the iron from the socket? I turned off the stove? ". During our meetings we do think that an evening at home, and when we get home we think you'll do tomorrow at work.
Basically, though we act in the waking state, we really rarely sober in the sense of actually paying attention to what we experience now, without thinking of something else, not to pass everything through the filter of what we want, we believe, we would like that upset us today, tomorrow we will ingrijiora.
The absence of the present moment
This absence of the present moment we erode relationships, makes us miss good opportunities, we eat with unnecessary thoughts and, finally, to live our lives with the feeling that nothing happens interesting.
Let us pause for a moment to read an old haiku:
What a miracle! What a miracle!
Scot water
Chop wood.
What she means this little Zen wisdom focused, I think, quite clear: the only way not to turn our entire lives in a meaningless routine and not behave like robots is to be careful around us and to us. Habit of "living in our heads" makes us miss the miracle and wonder of being alive, to move us, to fulfill our daily tasks, to see, hear, smell, taste and feel.
Certainly it is difficult to reach the level of concentration and autoconstientizare of a Buddhist monk - he has to go daily to work in a hellish traffic, to trade penny stock to take their children to kindergarten.
But we made a pact with ourselves: we now return immediately when we realize that every time we thought elsewhere, not to be put in a position to see with regret that ... I accidentally threw into the sea a magic stone.
Two ways to achieve positive changes that we want
The first is classical Pavlovian conditioning. What this means: it means that when a stimulus coupled with a combination of action and repeat it several times, we reach a point that that stimulus becomes a trigger for the action.For example, coffee can, for some people to be a trigger to light a cigarette.By conditioning, whenever the person is in front of a cup of coffee, his cigarette lights automatically. Most times not aware of this.
How can we use conditioning to bring positive changes in our lives? The answer is to create positive rituals.
I have the following ritual: the morning after I wake up, I sit at the table and getting down to read. What I read: I read my goals that I want to achieve.Every morning, every day without exception. For me waking = reading goals.After a few weeks to introduce automatism and not have to make any effort: it happens every day.
The power of positive rituals is extraordinary: for example, conditioning the waking in the morning with a positive (physical exercise, reviewing objectives and daily tasks, writing an article etc.) can automatically trigger the thing, we can anchor it subconsciously.
How long until we manage this? Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz ("The Power of Full Engagement") believe that we need at least 30 days to install a custom. And it is recommended to focus on one habit that must intregram it a daily ritual.
The examples the authors analyze them are Ivan Lendl and Tiger Woods have used (or still use) in order to condition the rituals and skills to achieve their goals.
Rituals are great ways to transform our objectives and priorities of actions that realize them in all conditions. This success is conditioning.
Lack of a ritual is why we do not get the desired changes. Although we go to personal development courses for example, after a few days or weeks after the course back to our old habits in familiar routines, not to implement the new knowledge received. We are attracted to "the gravitational field of our old habits." But once I broke it this time, changing the "go on automatic pilot" and we do the things we so easily.
Conditioning is an intuitive method to achieve change. Counter-intuitive method to achieve the same change is called hypnosis. If the first method is relatively slow and require more time and effort to get results, hypnosis is the quick way to work directly with the elements of the subconscious mind.
What is hypnosis?
Hypnosis is the critical factor bypassing the conscious mind and acceptance of selective thinking allowed.
The critical factor is what prevents most of the time to change. The "gravitational field that requires so much effort to overcome.
We thus obtain the two processing methods: the first method involves overcoming (demolition) obstacles to achieve our goals. The second home remove obstacles and give us the opportunity to sprint to the finish. How can we use the second method?
Motivation induced
It's probably mentioned in many books, materials, training or movies that motivation starts from a need or an emotion that we want to live. These in turn are also influenced by the values and beliefs we have. Last but not least are influenced by the fears and concerns that we inherited from less constructive experiences of our past (or of which we still have not managed to extract some lessons of life).
That said, does not mean that every man wants to finish things or quality.However, based on the above mentioned factors that influence motivation, not everyone feels ready to support a certain level of quality of his work.
Quality is influenced not only by the person's abilities, but also trust that person that has those skills.
They are capable people who have little confidence in what they can and then the chances are small that they perform to their potential and the expectations of others (although I feel that potential, to motivate feel neputionciosi in person).
And so we come back to the idea from the article "We are ready to endorse anyone?". Yes, the idea is not as motivated, but how to help a person find themselves not only to come naturally or as a desire to get things done, but trust that this is possible.
It may be an alternative approach, but often have to go to the cause, especially when you notice that treatment effects did not produce any results.
Are you sick to go to school?
If your answer to the question of title is "YES", the article below is for you, it will give some explanations. If your answer to the question of the title is "NO", the article below is for you, you will help you ask some questions. If your answer to the question of title is "Do not know", this article will help you to find an exact answer.
I start this article with a replica of a famous movie I watched with pleasure as a child - Karate Kid. Myiagi Sensei tells his disciple:
There are no slouch student, teacher just silly.
And with this began I know that I have raised 90% of head teachers, but ... I think that I and wanted.
I read recently an article appeared written by Stephen Vlaston Hotnews and I realized that "you are sick to go to school.
Young people today do not go gladly to school because they teach all sorts of nonsense, useless things, meaningless, or who do not see the point of usefulness. Let me give a few examples gathered from Mr Vlaston article and that will build:
"In mathematics grade (10-11 years), the revised curriculum:" The use, in various contexts, of infinite sets of natural numbers (the set of integer multiples of a set of numbers-in particular seems, odd set of numbers, the set of terms a stream that meets a given rule).
Class VI: (11-12 years) Exercise recognition of the significance of different weights in calculating weighted average.
Romanian Language and Literature, eighth grade, concepts collected from textbooks approved by the Ministry: omniscient, artifact, eponym, the authorial perspective, esoteric, transgression time, syncretism of languages, reflective character.
The ninth grade: conjecture, fastidios, alliteration, amfibrahul, oxymoron, troheul, toponomastica, omorganic, inextricably, acronym, analepsa, anticalofilie, climax, anticlimax, chronotop.
Let's say I'm part of those people uneducated and without basic knowledge who can not speak or write, but how many of you have ever heard or used notions above?
And when you ask others wonder: "How come you're sick to go to school?" Do you know how to justify the answer, but feel that something draws you to a place called school.
The above could be a justification, but there are others. I'll take them one at a time.
1. Concepts taught
About them it was in the quote above. It is clear that the matter that is taught today, in large part it is outdated, some of the concepts taught are heavy and useless, and that leads students from boredom and indifference. Here you can talk a lot, because there are teachers who know how to attract students to their side.
I know a lady teacher of Romanian young people who preferred that her class is reading something, instead of avoiding compulsory readings and recommended them "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," "Legends of Olympus" Jules Verne's books or Agatha Christie novels. The highest recommended them to read literature or personal development or the novels of James Clavell Doru Davidovich.
2. Teaching Mode
Oooo, here I could go with roller in the teaching methods of some teachers or their demands.
I happened to be munching apostrophize by a teacher when I got out of class when all students have stood up, stood straight and said "Buuuunaaaa ziiiiuuuuaaaa" in a tone that expresses anything other than respect . I came to give a lecture on communication.
I refused to go to class once in these conditions for my lectures. I was told that this is how you learn respect and that it may better to "I got them under control." I was allowed "to do my number" and were regarded with pity ... "I will devour in five minutes!"
We say only that, the lecture ended with applause, and after 50 minutes I had 32 friends who respected me and told me: "can not wait to come."
Not to mention the classical teaching methods. The teacher comes, put the catalog on his desk, goes absentii, play two, three, standing lesson dictates that "only it is stronger" and then leave, not before saying: "Next time you test."
Only when I think I do And I pity those in banks. Both? That was the whole lesson? Where is communication, where mutual respect, where five minutes of conditioning, which are the best two minutes of talking, where is the interaction?
3. Lack of interest
Here, unfortunately, is a vicious circle. Students and teachers spinning in circles and not get anywhere, although each of them says, "Try!" We give them the right ones out, with it will remain "in a circle."
Teachers have a compulsory subject taught, students do not like the material, teachers are upset with the attitude of pupils, students become bored and insolent, angry teachers, students and become more naughty ... conflict increases. Teachers dislike the way they get students, and students are made sick by the school and teachers.
Let's see a scenario, the actual fact that the decongestant at a time, to a certain class of a possible conflict.
The teacher has to teach material imposed by the ministry, no matter what field. Comes in class and telling students about a week before you're going to teach and to propose a project. They each bring a contribution to the material taught, both as an information and image! Proceed will see how they will proceed.
The day of teaching, most pupils had a paper or more information and images about the topic, some had nothing. There were about 15 and about 10 pictures of different information about the topic. The information was made each phrase and each image was scanned. Those who had brought information or images have been co-opted to work on presentation.However, it was later made a PowerPoint presentation that won an award, not much, but enough to succeed as a whole class to make a day trip.
I'm not saying that among students there and ignorant and free copies of any scruples will not under any circumstances get involved in the learning process, but slowly the group will be excluded. Young people are very sensitive to what's right and wrong! In the above case were two students who did not have the interest and not in any way participated in the project.Her colleagues refused to take the trip. One of them came home with money, he was paid and accepted without the resentment of any party.
You know what it takes? Just a bit of interest and someone who was out of the vicious circle!
I'll give one example of a teacher who is one of those 10% that I consider him a mentor and remaining life in the hearts and minds of their students. A lady teacher, class teacher as a class, he decided to leave the circle.
At the end of the school year came to the festivity ... the bag! Yes, as you heard with the prize bag. Not offered banalele of old books, but Harry Potter books, sets of blades, ping-pong and soccer ball. How to choose: the happy winners, with a unified class and a group of colleagues who squint. What did he do? It came out of the circle!
Conclusions
If you answered no to the question of the title and the article will not face any questions raised is very good. You will be able to successfully fulfill all the tasks you will be drawn throughout life, you will be satisfied with what you have, without crave more, you have a life as the things you do. Good luck!
If you answered do not know and now you changed your option to Yes means that you are on track. You get from life what you will, you know what to look for your interest, you will succeed in completing your education to bring things and concepts that will develop and you will be able to fashion your life as you want. Any good change is better than later to make at all! Good luck!
If you answered yes to question, do not despair! Think positive, the school in its essence is a positive thing, teachers will be true if you find mentors and especially the right ones, received notions fill the school to others that are found in alternative sources of education (web development booksPersonal, books in general). In life you will be among the leaders, you have everything you want and no dream of yours will not be satisfied. Success!