How do I become a butterfly?

In our drizzle of everyday human life are tested major ... have patience (which is a virtue), to make sacrifices (which is worthy), to make decisions (which is important), to make mistakes and learn of them (which may be a value) and love (which is infinity).

Discover what matters in life ... for you

Long-term success has less to do with finding the best idea, best organizational structure or busines model and soon discover what matters to each of us as individuals.

Find the courage to do what matters

You create success not because you are perfect or lucky but because you have the courage to do what matters to you. It is also a matter of integrity.

Recognize the signs of passion

When we embrace the idea that we are passionate about, wasting time passing that we are interested only thing I do selflessly, for the sake of doing something. It would be something: find room for more passion.

You have to find room for everything that matters in your life. When you exclude all other things and focus on one thing, there is a danger to find impossible to locate the true treasure.

Connect with your cause and find the voltage

When you do something with passion, because that provides us with charisma and automatically connecting us to that activity, such as electricity. If we want some impact (on our entire lives), we take care to make a difference aside from what is politically correct or popular.

Put into practice your passion, determination and skills

You can not skip any of those three if you want to enjoy success to survive, to be connected with your mission in life. Beekner Frederick said that "to find your mission in life is to find the intersection of the deepest joy in your heart and need for this world."

If it is to be greedy for something, be greedy for knowledge

Being the best at what you do is essential to build your success to resist. Of course, you must look to make a difference by acquiring knowledge that - let's say you have an ethical responsibility to "invest" capital to make a difference.

Align your intentions, words and actions

Remove all the inconsistencies. This alignment requires you to remove from your life everything is not consistent with your goals and passions. That includes people. Choose Wisely.

Anyway, I hope that everyone who read this article you will keep hope that there is a butterfly and a better person in all of us. I hope we continue to strive to bring out the best in each person.

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Your relationship with you

In relation to a life partner, no matter how nice it would be and no matter how much we have in common, at some point we will hit all the different ways to react and question. It's basically a matter of time before when will they appear small or large (depending only on us) conflict situations.

Each partner brings in the relationship primarily past and how it's lived experiences shaped his way of being. In fact, there are those experiences to shape our own, but rather how we choose to interpret and represent them mentally. Choose practical significance for each lived experience.

For example, if we do not answer the phone many times, we may ascribe this event a lack of interest from the one we are trying to contact him, that we reject or avoid and why not, that is predictive scenario in the company of another person of the opposite sex.  Or, you can choose to see beyond that missed call, a busy person, or simply does not hear the phone, why trust investing that missed call. We take things personally or not, and depending on this choice against the increase or decreases the quality of our lives.

The module dedicated to relationships in the "Get the Edge", Tony Robbins concludes that the pit a few times the partner's reactions are a direct response to our address, but rather are a response to an experience of the person lived in the past and present or brought their own needs nesatisifacute when no illusion that needs can be satisifacute strictly through the prism of the relationship we have with your partner.

Yes, your spouse will satisfy your need to be loved and to feel important, but so long as we do not we manage to satisfy this need, it's just a matter of time until we feel the bitter taste of disappointment and rejection. For that, where there are people with different life experiences different social and family influences, different, different education and training, at some point there will be conflicts and the failure of the beloved we meet those needs at a desired level us.

So how is best?

I think what saves the relationship is often a partner's ability to not take things personally and especially not to go to neglected issues in the relationship. I understand by this ability to be able to satisfy your own needs they expect You and powerful to satisfy their relationship, before entering the relationship. In other words, be yourself, first of all that life partner you are looking for, developing that relationship with yourself that you want and a projection into the future.

When you get hungry in the relationship of love, desire to be appreciated and to be significant, increase or to find stability and / or variety, without you can you give you first of all the things you look for to your spouse , you're an investor who puts his recent reckless bucks in one bank, to leave without the slightest reservation aside. And if the bank goes bankrupt, what happens?

We see implemented this "bankruptcy" in couple relations unworkable when unmet needs just searched through the relationship brings a spiritual desolation and a lock that prevents us longer be functional in other aspects of our lives, such as for example our own relationship with us, work, friends, family, our passions.

When each partner relationship steps into a position where he wants to provide and maximize their potential reached in relation to himself , "I give - you get" , and not from a selfish level that wants to satisfy their own needs "you give - I receive" , or at an intermediate level, conditioned celuilat reaction, such as "give, give, you're not, do not give" will successfully cope with the inherent differences that will occur at a time. It will manage to overcome them without taking things personally, without resentment and high-stakes game, but detached and balanced.

Choose to invest in yourself first, to believe in you and give you attention and love that you are looking for the perfect partner. Remember that many times we are the answer for a partner's reaction, but rather the experience of the past, its own meaning on events and choose to give it its own particular needs.

As a relationship work well and be functional it is important that each partner must be it for him they were looking for that ideal in the other person. When you do not need a partner to feel loved couple, join our relationship providing a level and not demand.

When two different people "to offer" one another and choose to grow together through the overlapping of personal needs define who already met individually, creates the premises of the relationship of your dreams.

 

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Temptations

It is downright annoying as when you think you've closed a door in your life you appear temptations. When you think of when a wound is healed instead of being something that is something that a scratch patch and the wound was reopened and it is often harder to cure.
More specifically, when you think you got over the separation from loved ones, he suddenly reappears in your life and you say maybe this time will be different, perhaps you from me ... and we can can can say that only half-opendoor ... I learned from last lesson, but we realize that give feelings burst upon us again.
When you say: no, this place I no longer work offers nothing, nothing will ever change, I am leaving. Hmm .. then there is the temptation, it's better pay, he would change something about your work, etc.. The proposed changes are typically changes at a superficial level. Even if you ask them, they often do not make you decide whether to stay or not to the place of work.
How to deal with temptations?
When it comes to love, is a execitiu we take in the workshop Call love into your life.
So imagine your heart, a big heart, beautiful, ready to receive love in your life. But the heart needs cleaning. Take a Waste shovel and clean everything is still there that can prevent a new chance to give love.
At heart there is a door behind the door ... "dos" throw garbage on there ..imagine how you put the garbage out. Then home ... regain the front door, a beautiful door, welcoming. You can imagine how the back door there fell away ... temptation. All you need is not more beautiful things. And love's open front door is open ... the person that will make life beautiful. How do you arrange your heart with confidence, with joy, the beautiful feelings when you're ready (to) love will ring at your door.
When it comes to workplace imagine that you wake up knowing that going to work with pleasure. It's a job where you feel very good that you do what you love. You can imagine the past those days where you feel frustration, anger, etc ... and you realize how important it is to have a job where you can feel smug. You wake up smiling, happy, enthusiastic, smiling, eager to start a new day of work.
Living in the moment of visualization will make you clarify and to banish the temptations, first of all recognize that there are temptations and stop letting "Bewitched."
These exercises will be done every time you want to intredeschizi door and let you prey temptations. Success!

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The 7 magic words

In continuation of the article last time, I thought it reviews some principles of communication that increase the chances of all participants to get a non-crease uncomfortable conversation.
Obviously, situations and people involved are so diverse that no one can claim to hold a guaranteed recipe for success, but maybe you will want to consider these suggestions:
Prepare yourself mentally for discussion. Summarized the topics you want to touch them and the results that you want to achieve. "Practice" in the conversation going, trying to anticipate possible points difficult. (Re-read the article about the intelligence of passage where I wrote more detail about the preparation of such conversations.)
Aim for a satisfactory result for both sides. A situation "win-win" is no "I win-win, you lose-lose." So make sure your motives are not selfish and to remember and what you have to offer each other. If you think the good of the person next to you, she would be compelled to do so?
Speak up and act relaxed. Someone said (and I can not contradict) that emotions are contagious. Do not let fear, anger, frustration or other negative emotions will lead the discussion. Remember that the energy that vibrate to attract a similar level (in translation, I'll forward your state party). Nobody likes to talk to a person desperate and cheeks with mascara elapsed ...
Choose your moment carefully. Ladies, written in any glossy magazine will not tell the man next to you "Honey, we need to talk!" Just when he's hungry or watching World Cup final. This advice may be generalized. With a little finesse and attention, you can detect the moment when the person you talk is in a receptive mood. Can be grouchy in the morning and afternoon working more intensely and hates to be interrupted. Talk to her at lunch!
Maintain constructive intent. There is a rule known enough feedback called "sandwich technique": a critique of two said in praise. It is very important to understand the other person you want to improve a specific aspect, you're not satisfied with (a) the whole relationship. Learn to tell the difference between "You're a fool" and "I believe that you behaved stupidly when ..." (ie not criticize the person, but the behavior).
No trial issue. Another so-called "trick" of effective communication is to report the behavior that you dislike a neutral way without making them add an emotional interpretation. See "This Month's delayed four times and I want to talk about it" vs. "late and always make me feel like a jerk because I realize that does not respect me." Many times the person in question did not realize that you are unhappy and it is possible that a calm discussion to solve the problem instantly.
No emotional blackmail. Not unless you give ultimaturi decided (a) you know them and if you're not prepared (a) to suffer the consequences. On the one hand, nobody likes to be his hand forced, and more, you could ruin everything accelerating someone to give you an answer to that is not ready.On the other hand, if it issues an ultimatum and then you disrespect, you will definitely lose credibility and you will forward party that has full power over you.
Use the 7 magic words. When you are ready to make someone a reproach them, begin your speech (verbal or mental) with the 7 magic words: "Since our relationship is important for me." This will help you remember the ultimate goal (to improve the situation) and you will temper the warring impulses.
In fact, as you can see, there is no "trick", "magic phrase" or "technique" to learn by heart. What matters is how you manage your inner state, respect for yourself and towards others and sincere intention to make things work. Find simple but very hard ...

 

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Success in life

Today I woke up this morning thinking that I will write an article entitled "How life deserves to be lived?". I thought to do that because one of those who responded to the challenge launched last week in the article "Why should life be lived?" I suggested the theme mentioned above.
But when I opened my laptop to write, I felt more attracted to this "success in life."
First I chose this topic because here I can write much of the lessons we had learned during my life so far. And, secondly, lately all I see people who are successful in life hiding from the world and those who do not speak to us as they would have.
Yes it is true that if you're a man of a certain quality and have been taught to be modest and common sense, it's hard to think that you are successful. It's hard sometimes to accept that even when I come to you to tell others that.And maybe it's hard and you think, rightly, not successful yet, knowing what you have not yet.
Yes, it's true, success can be the end of the road. It may be when we have it all: special friend, a beautiful family, a professional situation is a reflection of passion, a good financial situation, free time for themselves, loved ones and passions ... and maybe more.
Equally true, though, and the fact that the road can be a success. And that really matter and that as you go by what you want. Matter what values guide you in daily life and that others see you and inspires. Does it matter what attitudes and behaviors that provide examples that others choose as models.
Yes, each of these issues does not mean you have already reached the success that you propose it, but yes, your way is, however, that in itself is seen as a success by others. And if they see him like that, maybe we should give you and you a chance to see it.
It's good to know that you have not yet arrived where you want to go
But as good and perhaps even more heartening is to know you as you propose to be, even if you got there. Know that you are proof that your fulfillment and daily behavior does not depend exclusively on that success, but you, diligently, constantly working to get there. And the fact that doing so in an exemplary manner and should be a success for you to enjoy inside to leave you motivated by success.
So, whether you have arrived where you've wanted to get it or not, how about you give it a chance and successes along the way? First, for you, for surely you will be better if you also see the glass half full and not just empty. And, secondly, for those around you who will surely appreciate to hear about your little successes along the way, even with the modesty and simplicity that can give you proof.
Yes, it's a shame to have a set of values and to respect. It's a shame to be ethically, morally, with common sense, respectful and responsible to yourself and others, to do your job better, to live your dreams or inspire others to live their lives better. None of these things is a disgrace. On the contrary ...

 

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Return to life

The story goes that a man wanted to find the magical stone meets every need. Having no idea where to look, he went to a wise man to ask for advice. He said: "Magical Stone is on the seashore. Walk on the beach and take in hand every stone, if it is cold, throw it into the sea because it is just a normal stone, if it is hot, it means that you have found the Magic Stone. "
Hopefully, our man went to the seashore. The first stone he picked it was cold. Disappointed, he threw it into the water. And the second was stone cold - and threw it into the sea. He spent it all day, then another day and another day ... week in a row in which he found only the cold stones which he threw into the sea.
Then one day he put his hand on a hot stone. Magical Stone was right!Unfortunately, he felt that only a fraction of a second before throwing it into the sea. After many days, lost the habit of man and realize every gesture, throwing stones and I entered the reflex.
How many "magic rocks" waste daily because we live our lives on autopilot, always thinking the other hand, not stopping us any moment to realize what we are doing right now?
Trance
Most times, the second when we wake in the morning, went into a kind of trance. Once we start running the same thoughts in mind that we had yesterday, and the other day, and we launch hypnotized in the daily program.Go missing on the street and get along well known that not welcome.
Do not see that smells of lime or on the sidewalk is a lie. Arrived at the office, we agonized all day asking "Did I shut the door? I removed the iron from the socket? I turned off the stove? ". During our meetings we do think that an evening at home, and when we get home we think you'll do tomorrow at work.
Basically, though we act in the waking state, we really rarely sober in the sense of actually paying attention to what we experience now, without thinking of something else, not to pass everything through the filter of what we want, we believe, we would like that upset us today, tomorrow we will ingrijiora.
The absence of the present moment
This absence of the present moment we erode relationships, makes us miss good opportunities, we eat with unnecessary thoughts and, finally, to live our lives with the feeling that nothing happens interesting.
Let us pause for a moment to read an old haiku:
What a miracle! What a miracle!
Scot water
Chop wood.
What she means this little Zen wisdom focused, I think, quite clear: the only way not to turn our entire lives in a meaningless routine and not behave like robots is to be careful around us and to us. Habit of "living in our heads" makes us miss the miracle and wonder of being alive, to move us, to fulfill our daily tasks, to see, hear, smell, taste and feel.
Certainly it is difficult to reach the level of concentration and autoconstientizare of a Buddhist monk - he has to go daily to work in a hellish traffic, to trade penny stock to take their children to kindergarten.
But we made a pact with ourselves: we now return immediately when we realize that every time we thought elsewhere, not to be put in a position to see with regret that ... I accidentally threw into the sea a magic stone.

 

 

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Two ways to achieve positive changes that we want

The first is classical Pavlovian conditioning. What this means: it means that when a stimulus coupled with a combination of action and repeat it several times, we reach a point that that stimulus becomes a trigger for the action.For example, coffee can, for some people to be a trigger to light a cigarette.By conditioning, whenever the person is in front of a cup of coffee, his cigarette lights automatically. Most times not aware of this.
How can we use conditioning to bring positive changes in our lives? The answer is to create positive rituals.
I have the following ritual: the morning after I wake up, I sit at the table and getting down to read. What I read: I read my goals that I want to achieve.Every morning, every day without exception. For me waking = reading goals.After a few weeks to introduce automatism and not have to make any effort: it happens every day.
The power of positive rituals is extraordinary: for example, conditioning the waking in the morning with a positive (physical exercise, reviewing objectives and daily tasks, writing an article etc.) can automatically trigger the thing, we can anchor it subconsciously.
How long until we manage this? Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz ("The Power of Full Engagement") believe that we need at least 30 days to install a custom. And it is recommended to focus on one habit that must intregram it a daily ritual.
The examples the authors analyze them are Ivan Lendl and Tiger Woods have used (or still use) in order to condition the rituals and skills to achieve their goals.
Rituals are great ways to transform our objectives and priorities of actions that realize them in all conditions. This success is conditioning.
Lack of a ritual is why we do not get the desired changes. Although we go to personal development courses for example, after a few days or weeks after the course back to our old habits in familiar routines, not to implement the new knowledge received. We are attracted to "the gravitational field of our old habits." But once I broke it this time, changing the "go on automatic pilot" and we do the things we so easily.
Conditioning is an intuitive method to achieve change. Counter-intuitive method to achieve the same change is called hypnosis. If the first method is relatively slow and require more time and effort to get results, hypnosis is the quick way to work directly with the elements of the subconscious mind.
What is hypnosis?
Hypnosis is the critical factor bypassing the conscious mind and acceptance of selective thinking allowed.
The critical factor is what prevents most of the time to change. The "gravitational field that requires so much effort to overcome.
We thus obtain the two processing methods: the first method involves overcoming (demolition) obstacles to achieve our goals. The second home remove obstacles and give us the opportunity to sprint to the finish. How can we use the second method?

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