The 7 magic words

In continuation of the article last time, I thought it reviews some principles of communication that increase the chances of all participants to get a non-crease uncomfortable conversation.
Obviously, situations and people involved are so diverse that no one can claim to hold a guaranteed recipe for success, but maybe you will want to consider these suggestions:
Prepare yourself mentally for discussion. Summarized the topics you want to touch them and the results that you want to achieve. "Practice" in the conversation going, trying to anticipate possible points difficult. (Re-read the article about the intelligence of passage where I wrote more detail about the preparation of such conversations.)
Aim for a satisfactory result for both sides. A situation "win-win" is no "I win-win, you lose-lose." So make sure your motives are not selfish and to remember and what you have to offer each other. If you think the good of the person next to you, she would be compelled to do so?
Speak up and act relaxed. Someone said (and I can not contradict) that emotions are contagious. Do not let fear, anger, frustration or other negative emotions will lead the discussion. Remember that the energy that vibrate to attract a similar level (in translation, I'll forward your state party). Nobody likes to talk to a person desperate and cheeks with mascara elapsed ...
Choose your moment carefully. Ladies, written in any glossy magazine will not tell the man next to you "Honey, we need to talk!" Just when he's hungry or watching World Cup final. This advice may be generalized. With a little finesse and attention, you can detect the moment when the person you talk is in a receptive mood. Can be grouchy in the morning and afternoon working more intensely and hates to be interrupted. Talk to her at lunch!
Maintain constructive intent. There is a rule known enough feedback called "sandwich technique": a critique of two said in praise. It is very important to understand the other person you want to improve a specific aspect, you're not satisfied with (a) the whole relationship. Learn to tell the difference between "You're a fool" and "I believe that you behaved stupidly when ..." (ie not criticize the person, but the behavior).
No trial issue. Another so-called "trick" of effective communication is to report the behavior that you dislike a neutral way without making them add an emotional interpretation. See "This Month's delayed four times and I want to talk about it" vs. "late and always make me feel like a jerk because I realize that does not respect me." Many times the person in question did not realize that you are unhappy and it is possible that a calm discussion to solve the problem instantly.
No emotional blackmail. Not unless you give ultimaturi decided (a) you know them and if you're not prepared (a) to suffer the consequences. On the one hand, nobody likes to be his hand forced, and more, you could ruin everything accelerating someone to give you an answer to that is not ready.On the other hand, if it issues an ultimatum and then you disrespect, you will definitely lose credibility and you will forward party that has full power over you.
Use the 7 magic words. When you are ready to make someone a reproach them, begin your speech (verbal or mental) with the 7 magic words: "Since our relationship is important for me." This will help you remember the ultimate goal (to improve the situation) and you will temper the warring impulses.
In fact, as you can see, there is no "trick", "magic phrase" or "technique" to learn by heart. What matters is how you manage your inner state, respect for yourself and towards others and sincere intention to make things work. Find simple but very hard ...